Dear Dayna,
I constantly wanted to check-out a lesbian bar, but i am nervous that I am not cool enough. The manner in which you speak about it’s so amazing and fun and dazzling, but I’m scared i am also introverted for that scene. And also basically might get my self to a bar, i believe I would provide if I attempted to hit on a girl. I really should just go and it’s the perfect time in order to find a girlfriend, but my personal personal anxiety helps to keep getting back in ways. Just what are ideas for a first time nerdy lesbian?
â Lesbian Urkle
Dear Lesbian Urkle,
I may experience the honor of providing advice as a lesbian gender and online dating copywriter, but oh honey!
We panic my method through existence
, so that you’ve visited the right place for help. Though i will be an anxious hottie, I nevertheless regularly go out, arrive and hook-up. Exactly how, you ask? Follow these simple steps: seem breathtaking, drink and push you to ultimately speak to strangers.
First situations initially:
You will need a fresh outfit
. I won’t lie to you â
yes, lesbian taverns tends to be intimidating.
Certainly, the scene can seem to be somewhat cliquish. Certainly, the girls are hot and outfitted impeccably. You know very well what more? Those same ladies are human beings like everyone else and me. They truly are over to celebrate like everyone else and myself. And they are most likely touring for intercourse like everyone else and me. You know what otherwise?
You will be in the same manner cool and swaggy any time you tackle your stress and anxiety.
When you have scored a hot new getup (might i would suggest black denim jeans and a leather jacket playing it traditional lez classy?), you need to drink. I never ever mentioned it was healthier guidance! I’m a nightlife lez, maybe not a fitness lez. Having loosens you upwards, lowers your own inhibitions and heightens your confidence. But don’t drink too much. You believe you really have personal stress and anxiety now, woman? Its nothing compared to the crushing-chest-head-fog-panic-shame-spiral you will feel in the event that you get up the next day perhaps not recalling yesterday. You’ve got a five-drink maximum, babe.
More critical than consuming is being good. We regularly change into significant mean-girl-mode as a defense process based on how insecure I became experiencing. I would scowl at anyone who checked me personally. We acted like I was too-good to speak with visitors. Now i will be constantly smiling and say to hi everyone. It’s a lot easier even more enjoyable. I understand it is tempting to put your tough-babe armor on when you’re feeling nervous, but becoming vulnerable and sort is actually a far greater option to it’s the perfect time appreciate your self.
Residing my personal fab life has instructed myself a remarkably thing: it isn’t that serious. Like, there’s nothing. Especially lifestyle! Life is short. Nothing you will do will really matter (okay, today the Jenny Schecter in me personally is coming on, cut the nihilism). Simply speaking, merely say pick it, and have fun. I believe in you. Of course you see me personally
Xoxo,
Dayna
Self-proclaimed dyke princess Dayna Troisi is pleased to-be relate publisher at GO mag. She actually is excited about lesbian sex date, beauty + manner, along with her badass bionic supply. The recommendations available in this line is intended for educational reasons just and ought to perhaps not replace or substitute for any health, and other qualified advice or support.